What is Intensive Parenting? Discover the Approach

Are you curious about intensive parenting and its impact on your parenting life? This topic has gained a lot of attention, with many parents feeling the need to spend a lot of time and money on their children. The intensive parenting approach focuses on being child-centered and time-consuming. You might wonder if this is the best way to raise your kids and how it affects both parents and children¹.

Exploring intensive parenting reveals it’s a complex issue. Many parents believe it’s the best way to raise their children, regardless of their background or financial status². Social media shows perfect families and kids, making parents feel like they’re not doing enough. This is where modern parenting styles come into play.

Dr. Pauline Boss says intensive parenting is unsustainable. It burns out parents and harms children’s mental health and competence¹. As you learn more about intensive parenting, finding a balance between work and parenting becomes key. Self-care is also vital to avoid burnout, a common problem in modern parenting.

Key Takeaways

• Intensive parenting is a complex and multifaceted topic that affects both parents and children.
• Modern parenting styles, such as intensive parenting, can be unsustainable and harmful to parents and children.
• It’s essential to find a balance between work and parenting to avoid burnout.
• Self-care is critical for parents to keep their mental and physical health in check.
• Understanding intensive parenting and its effects on your family is important.
• Intensive parenting has become the dominant model for raising children across various socio-economic classes².

What is Intensive Parenting: A Modern Approach to Child-Rearing

Intensive parenting is a new way of raising kids that’s gaining popularity. Dr. Holly Schiffrin says it’s all about focusing on the child, spending lots of time with them, and being very involved in their life³. Parents do this because they want their kids to have the best start and succeed in the future.

This parenting style means being very hands-on and caring about your child’s feelings and learning. Parents put their kids first, sacrificing their own needs for their children’s happiness and success³. Studies show that intensive parenting can both help and hurt kids, depending on the situation⁴.

Key parts of intensive parenting include:

• Putting a lot of effort into your child’s emotional and educational growth
• Being very involved in your child’s life and activities
• Being ready to make big sacrifices for your child’s benefit
• Trying to give your child the best possible start in life

The roots of intensive parenting are complex, shaped by many social, cultural, and economic factors⁵. Yet, it’s clear that this parenting style is growing in popularity. It’s changing family life and how kids grow up.

The Core Elements of Child-Centered Parenting

Exploring intensive parenting, it’s key to grasp child-centered parenting’s core. This method puts the child’s needs first, with parents deeply involved. Patrick Ishizuka notes, most parents think this approach is best, no matter their background⁶. Finding a balance between work and parenting is a big challenge.

Child-centered parenting focuses on a caring environment and meeting the child’s needs. It also encourages independence. Studies show that loving parenting boosts kids’ physical and mental growth⁷. This way, parents lay a strong base for their children’s development.

To strike a balance, parents can try these steps:

• Set clear boundaries and priorities
• Communicate well with their child and family
• Get support from their partner, family, and friends

Using these strategies, parents can manage work and parenting well. This ensures their children get the care and support they need to do well⁶.

How Intensive Parenting Shapes Child Development

As a parent, you have a big role in your child’s growth. Intensive parenting can be good or bad. Dr. Holly Schiffrin says it affects how smart kids can be, their social skills, and their future⁸. Taking care of yourself is key to helping your child grow well.

Studies show that how you parent can change your child’s behavior. It can make them more helpful or less hyperactive⁸. Most moms of young kids really focus on intensive parenting⁸. Finding a balance between caring for your child and taking care of yourself is important.

Some main parts of intensive parenting are:

• Essentialism: believing kids are born with talents⁸
• Fulfillment: seeing parenting as a way to find happiness⁸
• Child-centered: focusing on what your child wants and needs⁸

Knowing how to take care of yourself while parenting intensely helps your child grow. Studies link intensive parenting to being middle-class, showing it’s about investing in your child’s future⁹. By caring for yourself and your child, you help them do well in school and life.

Creating Your Intensive Parenting Strategy

When dealing with the challenges of intensive parenting, it’s key to make a plan that fits your family. Dr. Pauline Boss says intensive parenting can burn you out and hurt your child’s well-being¹⁰. Start by setting realistic goals and focusing on spending quality time with your kids.

To make a lasting plan, focus on what your child needs and likes. Watch for their strengths and weaknesses to tailor your approach. For instance, if your child is anxious, help them find ways to cope and offer emotional support. For more tips, check out parenting resources that help with setting boundaries and talking better.

Key points for a good intensive parenting plan include:

• Setting clear boundaries and expectations
• Prioritizing quality time with your child
• Encouraging open communication and emotional intelligence

By being thoughtful and intentional in your parenting, you can make a plan that benefits your family. Remember to be flexible and adjust your approach as your child grows and changes¹⁰.

Time Management in Intensive Parenting

As a parent, managing your time well is key. It helps you balance work, parenting, and personal life. Patrick Ishizuka says most parents think being very involved with their kids is best. But, some look for alternatives to intensive parenting¹¹.

With 80% of parents finding it hard to juggle work and parenting¹¹, finding a good approach is vital. It must fit your family’s needs.

Having a daily schedule can help. It lets you spend quality time with your kids and also take care of yourself. For instance, you can plan time for homework, activities, and family moments. This way, you ensure quality time with your children and take care of yourself¹².

Here are some tips for better time management:

• Create a daily schedule and stick to it
• Prioritize quality time with your children
• Leave space for personal activities and self-care
• Communicate with your partner and other caregivers to ensure everyone is on the same page

By using these strategies, you can balance parenting and personal needs. You can also explore alternatives to intensive parenting that suit your family¹³.

Maintaining Balance While Being an Intensive Parent

Being an intensive parent can be tough. It’s hard to balance parenting with other life parts. Dr. Holly Schiffrin says it’s doable to find a balance¹⁴. Modern parenting styles make parents work harder and spend more on their kids¹⁴.

To keep balance, focus on quality time with your child. Manage your day well and set achievable goals. This helps reduce stress and makes family life better. For example, moms now spend almost five hours a week on childcare, up from 1 hour and 45 minutes in 1975¹⁴.

Here are some tips for achieving balance:

• Prioritize quality time with your child
• Manage your daily schedule effectively
• Set realistic expectations

By using these tips, you can lead a balanced and happy life. This is key in today’s parenting world¹⁵.

Keeping balance is key for your health and your child’s growth. Knowing about intensive parenting helps you make better choices. This leads to a more peaceful home¹⁶.

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

When you dive into intensive parenting, watch out for common traps. Burnout is a big risk, affecting you and your child’s well-being¹⁷. Dr. Pauline Boss warns that too much effort can lead to burnout if not balanced.

To dodge burnout, set realistic goals and take care of yourself. Know the signs of burnout, like being too involved and expecting too much¹⁸. Being aware helps you steer clear of these dangers and find a better way to parent.

Here are some ways to sidestep common problems:

• Set clear boundaries and spend quality time with your child.
• Don’t overdo it; let your child grow independent.
• Make self-care a priority and ask for help when needed.

By using these strategies and keeping an eye out for burnout, you can make a nurturing space for your child to flourish¹⁹.

Tools and Resources for Successful Intensive Parenting

Managing work and intensive parenting can be tough. It’s key to have the right tools and resources. Most parents think a child-centered, time-intensive approach is best, but they might need support²⁰. With the stress of intensive parenting, finding ways to manage time and take care of yourself is vital²¹.

Important resources for intensive parents include educational materials, support systems, and professional guidance. These help you find a balance between work and parenting. They ensure you care for your children well while keeping your health in check²².

Here are some tools and resources for intensive parents:

• Online parenting courses and workshops
• Support groups for parents
• Professional counseling services
• Time management and organization tools

Using these resources can help you balance work and parenting. This leads to a more harmonious and successful parenting experience.

Alternative Approaches When Intensive Parenting Isn’t Working

Dr. Holly Schiffrin says intensive parenting might not fit every family. It’s key to focus on self-care in parenting. Parents need to take care of themselves to care for their kids well.

Community-based parenting is one alternative. It involves families supporting each other²³. This method can ease the stress of intensive parenting. It lets parents focus on their and their children’s well-being.

Dr. Benjamin Spock’s “Baby and Child Care” suggests self-care for parents. It has sold over 50 million copies²⁴. This book emphasizes the importance of parents taking care of themselves for their children’s sake.

A study shows intensive parenting can boost a child’s income by over $1 million²⁵. Yet, it’s not for every family. Self-care and community support might be better. Recognizing self-care’s role helps parents choose the right path for their family.

Finding the right parenting approach is key. Self-care and exploring other methods can help. This way, parents can create a supportive environment for their children to grow.

Conclusion: Finding Your Path in Intensive Parenting

Remember, there’s no single way to handle intensive parenting. It’s key to find a method that fits your family’s needs²⁶. Focus on child-centered care and nurturing your child’s growth, but do it in a way that’s sustainable for you.

The U.S. stands out for being the least happy for parents compared to non-parents. This shows that the intense parenting style might lead to more stress and burnout²⁶.

Children’s happiness isn’t just about how much parents are involved. In the 1950s, kids were actually happier and more emotionally stable than today. This was before the term “parenting” became common²⁶.

As an intensive parent, finding a balance is vital. It’s about supporting your child’s growth without losing your own well-being. Think about letting your child play independently and handle challenges on their own²⁷. With some creativity and self-care, you can find a path that suits you and your family.

Source Links

1. Intensive Parenting: How to Practice and Support Autonomy | Lovevery – https://blog.lovevery.com/podcast/intensive-parenting-why-take-a-step-back/
2. What is “intensive parenting” and is it the norm? – https://bleuwater.me/2019/01/16/what-is-intensive-parenting-and-is-it-the-norm/
3. Intensive parenting has become the new way of raising children – https://www.sciencenorway.no/children-and-adolescents-parenting/intensive-parenting-has-become-the-new-way-of-raising-children/2417949
4. Thanks to ‘intensive parenting’, raising kids is harder than it used to be, studies show – https://www.mother.ly/career-money/work-and-motherhood/intensive-parenting-and-mom-burnout/
5. Is Intensive Parenting Helping or Hurting Kids? – https://www.parents.com/is-intensive-parenting-helping-or-hurting-kids-8734276
6. CEBC » Program › Intensive Parent Model – https://www.cebc4cw.org/program/intensive-parent-model/
7. Parenting styles – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles
8. Impact of “intensive parenting attitude” on children’s social competence via maternal parenting behavior – https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11100988/
9. Human values behind intensive parenting – Current Psychology – https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-024-06883-9
10. ‘Intensive’ Parenting Is Now the Norm in America – https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/01/intensive-helicopter-parenting-inequality/580528/
11. How to Deal With Intensive Parenting – https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/parenting-matters/202406/how-to-deal-with-intensive-parenting
12. Less Time for Health: Parenting, Work, and Time Intensive Health Behaviors among Married or Cohabiting Men and Women in the U.S – https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10937096/
13. Parenthood and Well-Being: A Decade in Review – https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7326370/
14. A Stoic Mom’s Stand Against “Intensive Parenting” by Meredith A. Kunz – https://modernstoicism.com/a-stoic-moms-stand-against-intensive-parenting-by-meredith-a-kunz/
15. Parents Are Sacrificing Their Social Lives on the Altar of Intensive Parenting – https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/04/intensive-parenting-bad-parents-social-lives/618629/
16. On Digital Media Risks, Intensive Parenting, and Glocal Tensions:
    Public Discourse and Parents’ Experiences in Vietnam – https://ijoc.org/index.php/ijoc/article/viewFile/20745/4615
17. How to Quit Intensive Parenting – https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/05/intensive-helicopter-parent-anxiety/629813/
18. The Parents Aren’t All Right – https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/09/podcasts/the-daily/parenting-stress.html
19. The NY Times Says Intensive Parenting Is Best, But… – Intellectual Takeout – https://intellectualtakeout.org/2024/02/ny-times-intensive-parenting/
20. Intensive Parenting: How to Practice and Support Autonomy | Lovevery – https://blog.lovevery.com.au/podcast/intensive-parenting-why-take-a-step-back/
21. A New Approach to Parenting – https://elemental.medium.com/a-new-approach-to-parenting-ef77cc078e70
22. Scaling Up Parenting Interventions is Critical for Attaining the Sustainable Development Goals – https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8096135/
23. The Isolation of Intensive Parenting – https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/01/intensive-parenting-village-child-care-incompatible/681113/
24. You’re screwing up your kid: An American saga – https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23700540/parenting-advice-endless-recycling-dr-spock-gentle-parenting
25. Stop Pretending That Intensive Parenting Doesn’t Work – https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/10/intensive-parenting-kids-happiness-health/671782/
26. #56. Intensive Parenting Is Harming Parents as Well as Kids – https://petergray.substack.com/p/intensive-parenting-is-harming-parents
27. Intensive parenting: What’s wrong with it from a Stoic perspective? – https://thestoicmom.substack.com/p/intensive-parenting-whats-wrong-with

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